Everything in my life lately has been revolving around the difference between knowing what’s the right thing to do and actually doing it.
I want to bring this up because I feel like everyone goes through something like this at some point in their life.
I know very well that sometimes you just need that little push to get you to actually do the right thing.
Who knows, maybe this post could be your push.
I have two examples I would like to share with you. One is actually pretty pathetic on my part and the other I think 99% of people have to deal with at some point in their life.
Okay, so now that I think about it, my first example can actually be compared to situations many of you may be in. This being addiction.
My addiction? I am a self proclaimed gum addict.
No. I’m serious. It got bad…. like really really bad.
I’m talking easily 5 packs in a day.
Yes… 5 PACKS.
Bad I know.
Plus, it was sugar free gum… which you really should not have a lot of.
This has been going on for a long time… probably a good year or so. It would be my way to deal with a lot of stress or anxiety. It would help me to feel better. There were times though I would be so anxious and on edge that I didn’t even realize how many pieces I was going through.
Not to mention it was definitely a burden on my wallet.
I knew what I had to do…. just stop chewing so much gum. It really is that simple, but at the same time, that complicated.
For any of you that has tried to quit anything before, maybe you can relate to me when I explain this situation.
I would tell myself in the morning: “Okay, no gum today.” I would do well for most of the day, but come afternoon, I would convince myself just one piece would be okay. After all it’s just one right? I had gone most of the day without any, so it wouldn’t be as bad as normal right? Wrong. After that one piece, I would go right back to the way I was, and not care anymore… until the next morning, where the same cycle would happen again.
For those of you that can relate to anything I’m saying, you have to trust me when I say just stop. Yes, in the moment it is a lot easier to just give in and feel happy, but in the long run, you’re going to be so much better off. It’s like setting a goal for yourself. It takes about a month or so to get over a bad habit. Just take it literally one day at a time. If you want more help with setting goals, click here to read a post I previously wrote about it.
The second is the choice of independence.
Similar to quitting something, choosing independence seems like a no brainer. Who wouldn’t want to be able to say they have independence?
Unfortunately, a lot of people decide to choose against this just because it’s easier to just be with the person that I guess you could say controls them.
This could be in any type of relationship… whether friendship, family member, or significant other.
When I trying to think of an example to refer to for you guys, I came to a revelation.
Pretty much every single person I know or used to know has dealt with a controlling relationship before. Some more severe than others, but it definitely happens a lot more than we realize. And see that’s what’s scary… sometimes we don’t even realize.
Sometimes we don’t want to realize.
When dealing with someone who is controlling, it is often easier to just let them be rather than trying to find a way to be even MORE powerful and say enough. Especially if it’s been going on for a long time. We just become used to it. And what’s worse, is that becomes what’s “normal” for us. That hurt and that pain becomes what we know and expect.
I myself have been in situations like these.
For those of you who feel like this may apply to you now, I think the only advice I can give you is to find courage and inner strength.
You need to be able to establish an independence outside of yourself so you can see there is a world and a life beyond this person. Because there is. I promise you.
Find hobbies that only YOU can do on YOUR own time. Read books, watch movies, cook, bake, go for walks. Do whatever just to find you.
Also, try to pull the people closer to you who you know know you best. Your family, your super close friends. Whoever has been with you through your highs and your lows in your life.
It does take time… it really does. It may be extremely painful as well.
Just trust me though… those few months of sadness and tears will seem like nothing over a lifetime of misery.
If any of you want to talk at all about anything I have touched on feel free to leave a message or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org