In yesterday’s post, I promised you guys that I would tell you my story… my actual story.
I’m not saying that I’ve lied to you guys in the past, because I haven’t, but I haven’t been straightforward about everything. If I was able to get around telling my whole story I did.
I realized something in these past few days though. We all struggle and sometimes the best way to get through struggles is when you can relate and talk to someone else. How can I do that if I pose myself as someone who lives the perfect lifestyle?… because I don’t. Even though I write this blog to help define what the optimum healthy life is, it doesn’t mean I always listen to my own advice.
I’m going to give a brief overview of my childhood habits before I really get into the part of my life I want to talk about.
When I was younger, I had the worst sweet tooth in the world. Okay, I still do, but I had no clue what healthy was. Granted, I was young, so no one expected me to.
I was extremely active too, so it had no effect on my physical appearance.
All was well until I was a senior in high school. I was actually homecoming queen with my boyfriend at the time.
This was the happiest I think I’ve ever been. I can’t describe what it felt like to actually have something like this happen to me. It was my own little fairy tale moment :).
Unfortunately, something happened the day after.
Obviously, we had a ton of pictures posted on Facebook from that night. On one of them, someone commented (note I have never ever talked or seen this person in my life, but we did have a mutual friend). They said: “Well, it looks like the homecoming queen is pregnant…”. Normally, I didn’t really care what people thought about me, but for some reason that comment really shook me.
I decided that I should at least try to make an effort to eat healthier. I did, and I actually felt a lot better about myself and had more energy. Expected right?
Things were going really well until February 2012. The guy I was dating at the time decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was not expecting this at ALL, and you can only imagine how torn I was. I felt like I lost all control. So what did I decide to control? Well my health. I ended up eating really healthy, but it wasn’t enough for how much activity I was involved in (17 dance classes a week). I started to lose weight and all that energy I had previously discovered.
I ended up getting back with him, but our relationship was never the same. What used to be an amazing relationship turned into a very hurtful relationship. I lost even more control because now I had no idea who I was or who I was supposed to be. I began to lose contact with my family members and stopped talking to almost anyone except for my boyfriend. He was the only one who I thought understood… even though our relationship was what was causing me the pain.. if that makes sense.
I managed to make it through the summer, but I was scheduled to start school in the fall.
I ended up attending for only a few weeks. I was majoring in biochemistry, so the amount of energy and work I had to put into it was just way too much for me. I was doing fine grades wise, but slowly I was fading away. I knew I needed to move on from this kid and find myself again, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to grasp onto anymore.
My parents went on a walk one day. When they came home, they told me they thought I should move in with my Gramma… who lives 3 hours away. They told me I would have to drop out of college and quit my job. My first instinct was to yell at them, but something told me inside that they were right.
A week later, I was gone.
Even though I did break up with the guy before I left, we ended up talking again while I was there. I began to find a love for baking and cooking though. Finally, a hobby.
After moving back a month later, I kept up with it. I started researching more and discovering healthy living blogs. I shifted to making healthier recipes only to find out I was really really good at it.
As time went on, even though I was still with my ex, we didn’t really talk much anymore. We fought and were very hurtful to each other when we would talk, so we only saw each other when we had to.
Also at this time, I knew I had to really focus on gaining weight.
I was a good 20 pounds under my ideal weight, and I had a lot of work ahead of me. I completely changed my mindset to where I was wanting to treat myself right and do what’s best for me. I realized just how absurd diets and magazines were. I learned how to listen to my own body.
I also began to realize what my family meant to me. I began to have family meals with them again and go for regular walks or coffee.
Finally, after Christmas last year, I found the courage to end it for good with my ex and move on with my life.
Since then, I have grown so much. Even though I’m still working to finding my perfect weight and lifestyle, I am getting there.
I have finally regained my relationship back with my family, and I can’t express how happy and grateful I am for this.
I have so much more energy than I EVER have, and I am only looking to improve even more.
It really is all about moderation guys. For those of you who have ever struggled with only eating healthy and only eating super foods, it’s as simple as this, don’t worry about it! I have junk food every single day of my life. I’m just make sure I get as much nutrients in as I can. Some days I do better than others, that’s life, and that’s what healthy is. Otherwise, you’re not living :).
So that’s my story, I really hope some of you guys were able to relate to it, and I’m glad to finally get it out there for you. If any of you CAN relate, please message me. I’d love to talk and help you through if you just need someone there.